Man Weekend X: Day 3

The day was sunny, humid, and hot. A good breeze started up around three in the afternoon and the evening weather was outstanding. The wind terminated fishing operations because the waves were threatening to flounder the Aquapimp.

Like father like son. John McCall’s enthusiasm for the sport of angling is … modest. He did get a pretty good sunburn out on the HAM however. John had to take off but he was replaced by Allen’s friend Mike so the Edgewood Cottage’s contingent remained at full strength.

Scott caught the biggest fish of course, a 30″ 5.5lb northern. To him goes the coveted title, “The Man With The Golden Rod.” He might as well get it tattooed.

With Ty not understanding that it’s Man Weekend and not Man Day, Allen had to prep the Ty-tanic. One of the tasks is to close a valve that drains the cooling system. Allen didn’t recognize the valve because the allen key hole is worn into a circle. Apparently yesterday the Ty-tanic wasn’t out long enough for anyone to notice that the bilge was filling with water. They noticed today. Too bad the Ty-tanic’s bilge pump doesn’t work.

And speaking of boats that don’t work, the Red Rocket is still toast.

If the steaks that Patrick brings get any more tender they’re going to turn into pudding. Maybe that’ll be a good thing for Man Weekend XXXXX when none of the Founding Men have any teeth left. Every year I think that the Man Meals have reached the pinnacle of perfection and every year Patrick outdoes himself. Does Man Weekend have the standing to take out a life insurance policy on him?

Ned and the Companions of the Grow Cottage brought wood and lit a fire in the ridge grill but it was a surprisingly modest and restrained affair, probably because it was too damn hot.

Posted in News | No Comments »

Man Weekend X: Day 2

Posted in News | No Comments »

Man Weekend X: Day 1

Richard arrived first at 2:00pm Thursday expecting that the Grow Cottage had been in full Man Weekend mode for days. Instead however over the year Ned contacted some kind of debilitating disease (he dismissed it as a “job”) and arrived Thursday afternoon. Tom showed up second and the Edgewood and Tobey cottage contingents a few hours later.

Edgewood is host to a new Man this year who claims his name is Paul McCartney. So far there’s no sign of musical ability. We’ll see if he sticks to the story after he sobers up.

Patrick brought his big thirsty truck and, to add insult to injury, towed a trailer loaded with Edgewood crap. He figures he was getting about 12MPG. On the trailer is the Red Rocket’s boatlift, which hopefully means the RR will see more water time this year.

Not satisfied with lavish Friday and Saturday dinners, Allen and Patrick brought several dozen clams for a lavish Thursday dinner. Of such great thinking are traditions formed, hopefully.

Richard commissioned four pounds of hot and spicy beef jerky for the Weekend as a gesture of protest against those tiny ounce portions in drug-like plastic baggies that last for mere minutes. The estimated Thursday consumption is one half pound.

Charles designed the Man Weekend X commemorative tee-shirt logo. Founding Men get special gold tee-shirts in honor of their awesome Founderness. The johnny-come-latelies get silver shirts.

So far the weather isn’t cooperating. It’s windy and rainy, not even good weather for prepping boats, much less putting them to use. We may have to sit around inside and drink beer all day long. What a tragedy

Posted in News | No Comments »

Man Weekend X

Never, in the history of weekends, has the blockbuster summer season been so eagerly awaited.

The latest sequel of the wildly popular series Man Weekend is scheduled to be released to cottages throughout Highgate Springs on June 5, 2008 and is projected to open to unparalleled crowds and rave reviews.

For the first and only time Man Weekend has been rated X by the Man Weekend Association of America (MWAA). The unprecedented X rating was awarded for the following reasons:

• EXcessive numbers of Men show up.
• The weather is eXpected to be perfect.
• The food is eXtraordinary (in quantity and quality).
• The lake is full of eXtra big fish¹.
• EXtreme amounts of beer are consumed.
• The boats all run eXcellently.
• Minors are not allowed to attend.

Clearly, Man Weekend X is an event that must be experienced live and in person. You will not achieve the same satisfying Sunday morning feeling² by watching the DVD. Don’t miss out on the real thing!

Footnotes:

¹Whether we catch any remains to be seen.
²Tired, sunburned, dehydrated, slightly hungover, and heartburn.

Posted in Announcement | 1 Comment »

Manweekend 1998-2008: 10 Year Anniversary

Although the archives only date back to 1999 due to organizational issues and privacy concerns, this year marks the 10 Year Anniversary of Manweekend. As this is a very special celebration, all present and former Manweekend participants are encouraged to attend.

Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

Manweekend 2007: License to Fish

Consider the following:

1. Ty Tobey, a founding Man, was unable to attend Man Weekend 2007.
2. The weather was perfect, the fishing was pretty good (according to Allen), and the Ty-tanic worked flawlessly.

Is there a cause and effect relationship here?

Ty’s absence was an occasional topic of conversation. I now reveal the true reason Ty didn’t show. During his move Ty misplaced his Man Weekend hat and decided he’d rather skip Man Weekend entirely rather than endure the Ordeal of the Garment of Shame. It’s just as well. Man Weekend’s ISP would have probably pulled the plug if those pictures appeared on the web site.

Drama was provided by Gilbert and Scott’s heroic rescue of the Red Rocket when the RR’s new starter motor turned out to be the single-use model. Allen, Tom, Patrick, and Richard spent several hours out in the middle of the bay:

1. Picking pieces of exploded starter motor housing out of
   the engine.
2. Attempting to flag down nearby boats and airplanes.
3. Noting the direction of the drift and wondering if the Venice onion soup place was still open.
4. Franticly trying to remember cell phone numbers.

Fortunately, someone remembered Ty’s number, Ty was able to get Gilbert’s cell phone number from his office, and eventually the AquaPimp came around and, at some risk to its engine, towed the Red Rocket back to Shipyard.

Allen, Patrick, and Tom enjoyed a few minutes of quiet levity when they dropped the anchor while Richard was at the bow in a futile attempt to wield the paddle. Har, har, har guys.

The moral of the story is that if you need to be rescued, either everyone should bring their preprogrammed cell phones or at least one guy should be fishing without a license to insure a timely visit by the game warden.

Ned Atwater, who wants his attendance made a clear part of the record, drove up in his beautiful
30 year old truck. He says he got 18mpg on the ride up. Ned can also be seen in this year’s group shot and in the kayak pictures.

The art of the Man Weekend dinner has been perfected. The Saturday Man Meal was half melt-in-your-mouth meat and half monster shrimps prepared two different ways. The debt the rest of Man Weekend owes to Allen and Patrick for their work is incalculable. Allen brought a case of a dozen 20oz heavy glass goblets that were put into use by those not drinking beer. Whiskey, scotch, G&Ts, wine, and margaritas were being consumed in 20oz servings. Whee!

Tony Reed, a distant cousin to Allen and Richard, and single-star, sends the following:

“The Canadian Man-Weekend Auxiliary Branch, from it’s headquarters in Picton, Prince Edward County, Ont (just across the lake from Rochester NY, see?) wishes y’all all the best for Man-Weekend 2007.

May you always have red meat and strong beverage and a round in the chamber …”

Next year is Man Weekend X and the first gold stars will be awarded to those founding Men who deserve them. The time to start preparations (ie. sweet-talking her) is now!

The panoramic images were made with a free program called Autostitch.

More panoramas can be seen at the Camp Randolph pictures page.

Posted in Competition, Fishing, Rules, Wrap Up | No Comments »

Top 10 reasons why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL

It is estimated that 1 billion people watched the Superbowl this year. That’s just a fraction of the people³ who follow Man Weekend.

Top 10 reasons why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL:

• #10 Superior advertising.⁴
• #9 Man Weekend lasts for three days, not three hours.
• #8 You don’t have to worry about your team losing.
• #7 Occasional souvenirs.⁵
• #6 Boats, fishing, and golf!
• #5 No lame⁶ geriatric⁷ half-time entertainment.
• #4 Better food.⁸
• #3 No stupid/blind/bribed officials.
• #2 There’s no one around to suggest that there are better things to do.⁹
• And, finally, the #1 reason why Man Weekend VIII is better than Superbowl XL:
• #1 Man Weekend’s Roman numeral doesn’t look like an underwear size.

Posted in Propaganda | No Comments »

FRANK MARTIN TACKLE BOX AWARD

The Frank Martin Tackle Box Award

Official Rules and Guidelines

1. This award is in honor of Camp Randolph Legend Frank Martin. He was a renowned landscape architect, quality craftsman, master of profanity and expert fisherman.
2. It is to be awarded beginning ManWeekend VIII (June 10, 2006, then anuualy thereafter at each official ManWeekend.
3. The Tournament officially begins at 12:01 AM ManWeekend Friday and ends at 7:00 PM ManWeekend Saturday. The winner will be announced ManWeekend Saturday at the official Man Meal.
4. All participants in the tournamnent must be ManWeekend attendees in good standing and have their names officially recorded on the tournament entry form prior to the start time of the tournament.
5. By having their names officially recorded on the tournament entry form, all participants agree to the rules and guidelines set forth in this document
6. The award will go to the participant who catches the “BIGGEST” fish as determined by weight. In the event of a tie, the next determining factor will be length. In the even of yet another tie, the winner will be determined by Rock-Scissors-Paper. Best two out of three.
7. All tournament participants must conduct themselves with the utmost good faith, fairness and sportsmanship.
8. Each participating fishing boat must be equipped with a scale, ruler, camera and official tournament form in order to properly document and record all catches.
9. All species of fish are eligible for entry into the competition. So, if the fishing sucks, be sure to record that tiny Perch you so arrogantly thought you could use as bait! Also, fish must be caught live; no picking up dead ones.
10. All types of bait (jail, live or otherwise) and all fishing techniques are approved for use during the tournament.
11. There will be a winner each year as long as at least one fish is caught and it is properly documented and recorded. If no fish are caught, we will think of something.
12. There will be no money. The Frank Martin Tackle Box Award is ManWeekend’s highest (and only) honor. The trophy, official rules and list of recipients will be on permanent display at the Tobey Cottage for all to see and admire. A certificate, suitable for posting on your refrigerator, will be mailed to the winner.

GOOD LUCK AND GOOD FISHING!

Posted in Competition, Fishing, Rules | No Comments »

Manweekend 2006

“Neither rain, nor more rain, nor rain all !@#$% day long will keep these Men from their Weekend.”¹

Tom and Ty set a new record for Man Weekend by arriving on Tuesday which, unfortunately, was the only really nice day of the event. Everyone else showed up a few hours earlier than usual² on Thursday, except for Charles:

“We’re the Man Weekend Editorial Board, and we approve the following message:”

Charles’ [censored] boss [redacted], one hour before Charles was supposed to [censored] leave on Thursday, [censored] informed him that he had to [censored] stay for the rest of the [censored] week, despite his heroic effort to successfully met a [censored] Tuesday deadline, to clean up a few [censored] last minute [censored] details. All because their [censored] [censored] client [redacted] insisted on an impossible schedule and Charles’ [censored] [censored] [censored] company [redacted] agreed to it. [Censored] [redacted] did fly Charles up to Burlington on Friday but on a [censored] airline without a [censored] first-class section. We think that this is a huge pile of [censored] [censored] and if it ever happens again we’re all going to go down to to [censored] [censored] [redacted] and stuff some [censored] [censored] up some [censored] [censored] [censored].³

Spirits were further dampened by the inoperability of the Ty-tanic, the main engine seal of which disintegrated over the winter. Ty considered trying to buy a new boat⁴ but in the end decided that he’d rather continue to stay both alive and married.

This year Man Weekend was graced⁵ with the presence of Tobey cottage affiliate Adam who put up with the weather and being called “Copper Pin” with good humor. He even expressed an interest in returning! Talk about a sucker for punishment. It was the unanimous opinion of the other Men that next time Adam should bring his Hummer.

Undaunted by the prospect of getting really wet, the Aqua Pimp, HAM, and Ned & Co.’s fleet of kayaks⁶ ventured forth Friday morning and stayed out nearly all day. The fishing wasn’t great, probably because the lake was too high, but fish were caught and the fact that everyone seemed to have gotten a camera cell phone in the last year means there’s lots of proof.

And proof is good because Ty spent the interleaving year creating rules, entry forms, and log sheets⁷ for the prestigious Frank Martin Tackle Box Award awarded to the Man who catches the largest fish during the weekend, be it ever so humble. The whole thing would have been a lot more effective if Ty actually found Frank Martin’s tackle box, but maybe it’ll show up next year.

One thing that bad weather can’t change is Man Weekend food. Damn those hot Italian sausages are good! I think Patrick and Allen got those good unsliced rolls just to keep the consumption rate closer to Patrick’s production rate. It was Patrick and Allen who brought the sticky rolls that vastly improved the morning coffee set-up.

The Saturday washout meant that instead sitting on their asses, drinking beer, and cultivating sunburn in a healthy outdoors environment; the Men sat on their asses, drank beer, and advanced their pasty white complexions in a smoky indoors environment. The wind made even the Tobey cottage porch uninhabitable so, unusually, the Men congregated in Edgewood⁸. Tom and Ty still can’t agree on what happened to their TV so Richard got out his subminiature notebook computer and queued up Animal House, Blazing Saddles, and the Blues Brothers. Never before have so many watched so much on so little a screen.

The gosh-darn weather actually started to clear up a little Sunday morning, and there was the usual talk of a pre-departure fishing trip, but most Men seemed to want to get this weekend behind them ASAP. But never fear! The weather next year couldn’t possibly be worse! So prepare yourselves for:

Footnotes:

¹A low pressure system stuck over Massachusetts and rotating counter clockwise was pumping moist Atlantic air up into Quebec, through the St. Lawrence River valley, and down to the Green Mountains which forced it up to cooler elevations and caused it to condense into rain. Northeastern Vermont was basically the butt of a 500 mile long rain machine all weekend long.

²Leadfoots! The lot of you!

³[Censored] [censored] [redacted] [censored] [censored] [anatomically unlikely] [censored].

⁴Tom did come up with the perfect successor name however: the Ty-conderoga!

⁵To the extent that anything at Man Weekend can be considered graceful.

⁶One of which is pimped up with a combination GPS receiver/fish finder! See the pictures.

⁷Soon to be available in convenient PDF form at a website near you!

⁸The fact that Edgewood has a wood fueled heater that doesn’t suck probably had something to do with this.

Posted in Wrap Up | No Comments »

Manweekend 2005

Announcement

Hear Ye! Hear Ye!¹

Know now by these presents² that all Men are hereby
summoned to Highgate Springs to attend Man Weekend 2005 on the
weekend of June 11-12. Be ye noble³ or mobile⁴,
quality⁵ or common⁶, Man Weekend is a time when
Men of all stations gather together in joyous celebration of those
interests⁷ that all Men share regardless of class or
distinction.

The date for Man Weekend is chosen in a solemn ceremony when the
Senior Men⁹ retreat to a remote Indian lodge, strip off
their clothes, and spend the next several hours practicing smoking and
drinking rituals. Then, when everyone’s about to pass out, one of the
Men unveils his Oracle of the Gods¹⁰ and calls the Vermont
Fish and Game Department to find out when Free Fishing Day is.

Treasurer’s Report

I am pleased to announce that the financial situation of Man Weekend’s
corporate arm, ManWeeCo, is better than ever! Income from the
sale of Man Weekend 2004 movie rights and product licensing, and the
fees received for the stress testing of high-temperature mortar totaled
$172,500.00. Under the direction of Gilbert and Scott over the winter
our assets nearly doubled to $331,250.00 and after the last of Man
Weekend 2004’s beer bills were paid our account contained $9.35 which
is 200% increase from the $3.12 of a year ago! Gilbert and Scott are
looking into creating a subsidiary, ManWeeCayman, to shield our
hard-earned profits from confiscatory taxes. We are soliciting
volunteers willing to take a investigatory business trip.

Attendance Policy

The Pinhead¹¹ would like to reiterate the attendance star
policy. If you bring your official Man Weekend Hat to Man Weekend it
will be updated to reflect the total number of years you’ve attended
Man Weekend. Or, to put it another way, if you forget your hat one
year, you’ll get two stars the next year. Attendance is defined to be
setting foot on Camp Randolph property sometime between Thursday and
Sunday of Man Weekend inclusive and, since no records are kept, we
rely on your honor¹² to keep count of your years.

During Man Weekend 2005 the returning Founders will be sporting a
silver five-year star and two copper one-year stars.

Footnotes

1. This is for you illiterates who are having this read to you.
2. No, not gifts, you greedy bastard.
3. Your name appears on a Camp Randolph stock certificate.
4. Beggars and wannabes.
5. A Man Weekend Founder.
6. Johnny-come-lately’s.
7. Beer, fishing, and classic movies.⁸
8. I swear, I think more time was spent last year watching classic
   movies than out on the lake. 
9. Those of Noble Quality.
10. Cell phone.
11. Richard would really rather be known as The Mad Hatter but
    realizes the total futility of that. 
12. Ha ha ha ha ha!

Posted in Announcement, News | No Comments »