Friday, June 5
Man Weekend is pleased to announce the addition of a new Man. L.L. (no idea of what that stands for) received his hat and first year pins at the evening’s superb (as usual) sausage & clam dinner, orchestrated (as usual) by Patrick and Allen. L.L. was actually around last year for Man Weekend but declined to take part. One can only assume that the lack of (obvious) bloodshed last year was reassuring, or perhaps the stack of magazines pushed upon him Sunday of Man Weekend last year, in an attempt to hide the evidence, was impressive.
The weather is so great that it called into karmic question whether any of the boats would work. Hedging their bets, Allen and Richard declined to even start the Red Rocket’s engine, thus insuring that HAM, the Ty-Tanic, and the Aqua-Pimp ran perfectly. The Edgewood Men caught a few perch and one sunfish, but spotted an otter, a turtle far way from shore, enjoyed for some time an anchor point a few dozen feet from the sheer cliffs on the way up to Canada, and carefully paddled into the brushes of Gander Bay spying on huge carp that had sex on their minds more than our lures.
The other boats caught so many big fish that they couldn’t even remember them all. Scott reported a 6lb 30″ northern. This is not unexpected. What was surprising was when Scott came over to Edgewood begging for some butter to cook up some perch he caught. The Man with the “The Man With The Golden Rod” tattooed (such as it is rumored) on his arm, shocked the Man Weekend community by actually keeping, cleaning, and cooking some fish! (Very well too, but one wonders if this is the beginning of a change in Man Weekend philosophy.)
Thursday, June 4
Man Weekend 009 properly began Wednesday, June 3, when Chris showed up for the first time in three years, but since your chronicler arrived Thursday early afternoon, that’s when the official history commences.
There was some uncertainly concerning attendance this year. Is Tom coming? Is the Grow Cottage contingent going to be here? Charles already made the possibly permanently fatal mistake of scheduling his daughter’s birth in the Man Weekend timeframe, the fool. The date of Man Weekend isn’t fixed in stone, but if this child is born on the average date, Charles may never be able to attend Man Weekend ever again. Let this be a warning to All Men. Leave Her alone nine months before two weeks after Memorial Day. It’s for your own good. Really.
So far Tom hasn’t shown up. If he doesn’t appear Saturday then that leaves Allen and Glenn as the only Man Weekend Founders with perfect attendance. Speculation is that Ned and his comrades, who are rumored to come next weekend, are doing it to (1) Save $20 on fishing licenses by taking advantage of Vermont Free Fishing Day, and (2) The simultaneous start of bass season. There are some who think that the Grow Cottage’s logic is sound. (Particularly, in addition, if it lets Charles come again.)
The day was sunny, humid, and hot. A good breeze started up around three in the afternoon and the evening weather was outstanding. The wind terminated fishing operations because the waves were threatening to flounder the Aquapimp.
Like father like son. John McCall’s enthusiasm for the sport of angling is … modest. He did get a pretty good sunburn out on the HAM however. John had to take off but he was replaced by Allen’s friend Mike so the Edgewood Cottage’s contingent remained at full strength.
Scott caught the biggest fish of course, a 30″ 5.5lb northern. To him goes the coveted title, “The Man With The Golden Rod.” He might as well get it tattooed.
With Ty not understanding that it’s Man Weekend and not Man Day, Allen had to prep the Ty-tanic. One of the tasks is to close a valve that drains the cooling system. Allen didn’t recognize the valve because the allen key hole is worn into a circle. Apparently yesterday the Ty-tanic wasn’t out long enough for anyone to notice that the bilge was filling with water. They noticed today. Too bad the Ty-tanic’s bilge pump doesn’t work.
And speaking of boats that don’t work, the Red Rocket is still toast.
If the steaks that Patrick brings get any more tender they’re going to turn into pudding. Maybe that’ll be a good thing for Man Weekend XXXXX when none of the Founding Men have any teeth left. Every year I think that the Man Meals have reached the pinnacle of perfection and every year Patrick outdoes himself. Does Man Weekend have the standing to take out a life insurance policy on him?
Ned and the Companions of the Grow Cottage brought wood and lit a fire in the ridge grill but it was a surprisingly modest and restrained affair, probably because it was too damn hot.
Man Weekend is pleased to welcome John McCall and welcome back Adam who brought his Range Rover as promised. Next year we want the Ferrari.
The boat gods are angry. The Red Rocket’s engine is seized up. The men of the Edgewood cottage may have to sacrifice the RR in order to save the HAM which is acting a little quirky. We’re thinking of a Viking Funeral.
The Ty-tanic and the HAM went out in the late afternoon but the fishing wasn’t very good. So far the leading contender for the Frank Martin Tackle Box Award is Glen’s half-pound perch.
Ty deigned to show up this year. Ty’s Man Weekend attendance has been a recent issue and corrective measures were required. Allen convened a gathering of the Senior Men who after practically no deliberation at all decided that Ty was not worthy of a full attendance star so Richard was directed to cut one in half. Ty will bear this reminder of his fecklessness for the rest of his life.
On the drive up Patrick stopped off in Watertown and picked up several pounds of handmade hot sausage that he cooked up for Friday’s dinner. And lamb. And clams. Wow. Just wow.
After dinner Richard entertained the Men with a firework.
Richard arrived first at 2:00pm Thursday expecting that the Grow Cottage had been in full Man Weekend mode for days. Instead however over the year Ned contacted some kind of debilitating disease (he dismissed it as a “job”) and arrived Thursday afternoon. Tom showed up second and the Edgewood and Tobey cottage contingents a few hours later.
Edgewood is host to a new Man this year who claims his name is Paul McCartney. So far there’s no sign of musical ability. We’ll see if he sticks to the story after he sobers up.
Patrick brought his big thirsty truck and, to add insult to injury, towed a trailer loaded with Edgewood crap. He figures he was getting about 12MPG. On the trailer is the Red Rocket’s boatlift, which hopefully means the RR will see more water time this year.
Not satisfied with lavish Friday and Saturday dinners, Allen and Patrick brought several dozen clams for a lavish Thursday dinner. Of such great thinking are traditions formed, hopefully.
Richard commissioned four pounds of hot and spicy beef jerky for the Weekend as a gesture of protest against those tiny ounce portions in drug-like plastic baggies that last for mere minutes. The estimated Thursday consumption is one half pound.
Charles designed the Man Weekend X commemorative tee-shirt logo. Founding Men get special gold tee-shirts in honor of their awesome Founderness. The johnny-come-latelies get silver shirts.
So far the weather isn’t cooperating. It’s windy and rainy, not even good weather for prepping boats, much less putting them to use. We may have to sit around inside and drink beer all day long. What a tragedy